Ordinary

I’ve been a cynic in more ways than one. And I had enough reasons to be mean today, what with losing my wallet last night and only discovering it to be missing this morning on my way to work. In all honesty I just moped and tried very hard not to lash out at people who were curious to ask how I lost it, which unconsciously add salt to my open wounds of self condemnation. I was almost successful, mind you; however it was my boss who ended up on the receiving end of my non-existent patience, when he worded his question in the most insensitive form he could have phrased it. I mean he explained he was asking how I lost it but worded it in a way that any person who follows logic and literal sense, would have interpreted that he actually meant, why I purposely lost it. Stupid huh? Yes very.

Anyway, went running to get rid of my angst and over active imagination’s switching scenario routine, which only actually made me feel worse about myself. It did help, running I mean. My current state of pain is proof that my thoughts were diverted from my stupidity. I mean discovering parts of your body with the pain its in does tend to make you focus on that sensation.

I was ready to hit the shower when I got home then prepare for bed and just lose consciousness and forget today ever happened. But fate had other ideas…my phone rang with a guy on the line who said he found my wallet and apologizing for calling late. I was glad to meet him, on a specific location and hoping that it wasn’t some prank from some asshole who could be calling himself my friend.Becuase believe me, with how my day was going, i would have a different definition for friends like him plus of course warning signs... And good thing it wasn’t, I was hyped to actually have some heads rolling just for the heck of it. I had the audacity to call him ‘sir’ on the phone when he was actually 7 years my junior hahahaha. Phone conversation and voice distortion, go figure. He was a decent guy, pretty much made the effort to get my phone number from a bookstore where I am a member of and hassled the department secretary at the University Department to check if I have enrolled this semester…sadly I wasn’t in this semesters enrollees for masters class since…ehem…I was pretty late for enrollment…so he left my engineering license there then called the bookstore. So here we are, me writing this and laughing at my own stupidity but still pissed off about it, but thankful now as well and very glad that in this time and age, there are still people like him around here. Decent and honest people. I guess for today, despite my boss being an asshole, my cynicism factor went down a notch.  Some might say it’s neglible, but that iota makes a difference you know…specially with when I was expecting it would simply morphed me into the modern hermit.

I’m inviting him to dinner tonight... Just for the heck of it and to thank him. Yes, the hermit thing wasn’t a joke…although, as anti social as I am, here’s to wishful thinking I don’t kill anyone and end up getting him in trouble with me.

And the lesson for the day is? Run! =) helps you to focus.

Hope, it's the only one that's free in this world so far.

Friends? Their awesome. Thanks Menger and Lane. You guys rock.

And to strangers, well, I just might learn to ask first before shooting these days.

So yeah, there goes my hero, watch him as he goes, there goes my hero, he’s ordinary.

Contemplating my Non-oddities

It’s January and June is four months away, and I have to really really convince myself to be ready for another semester at USC and finish my darn masters classes. I still have 15 units to go and a thesis (for a non-thesis curriculum, yes we have thesis, although officially it isn’t called that…more like documentation of my project and all that shit, like not calling it a thesis makes it not one – go figure logic yeah?). I still have no idea what to propose, who’d be a great adviser, if I would even be up to par with presenting one to my maestros. Afraid? Watashi? More like terrified.

So for this moment I am trying to forget I have that obstacle to go through in…yeah…4 months or so. I’m currently busy and enjoying my non-engineering related classes. It has it’s perks, something new and one of the things I have listed down to do before I go into the deep end. (yeah I went through the list making…obsessive compulsive much. You know…those moments) and the list is really really long and I really really need to work on them my age is already 20-fucking-7. yeah! So….right…work on the list. Now to remember where the hell I placed the darn thing.

I’m sure my next project was something to do about a weapon, and no, nothing with ammo. I have a biased opinion of it these days…although I don’t really get it. A friend told me guns are emo…like I understand what emo is. Yes. I was born in 1981, emo was a non-existent word except for a shortened epithet for someone too melodramatic…these days however, it’s a fad, a trend, a state of being, a music genre…whichever, I don’t get it. However, for music related shit, if I get the beat, the rhythm, the lyrics…then a song is fine with me, emo or otherwise. And not really into labeling life, not right now, not that obsessive compulsive, although I have my moments I haven’t tried categorizing life for the sake of categorizing or because if I really put my mind to it, I just might be able to. Yeah! This is what being 27 is like I think (talking like a sage my ass). My current best friends are apathy and my non-existent funny bone. I swear I see penguins when I find something funny about anything these days.

Well…on to finding that list.

Fight-o! O!

Yosh!

Fight-o! O!

You know that feeling when you feel like you’ve wasted the entire day? When you feel like you could have done something at least productive but you weren’t able to? I am having one of those days…however, I don’t think I could regret falling asleep for 6 hours right after lunch…although that doesn’t diminish anything from a lazy bum image…I needed that rest.

Been….errr…up all night lately. HAHAHAHAHA nothing too fancy as to the reason why…just your typical insomnia I think. Then it’s Monday already tomorrow. *sigh* another bloody Monday. So, I am psyching myself that tomorrow is going to be one bloody great day. Wehehehehe mind over matter and all that shit. Hopefully it would work as I don’t think I could handle any shit tomorrow or this week for that matter.

So far the week has been awesome and I am hoping for the same or better fireworks this coming week, what with the aging thing, I really am hoping for it.

I mean I get to go out on a date with my soldier girlfriend, had great coffee and talked about the wonders of being…ehem ‘considered’ an adult…had a coffee night with my co- pseudo anarchists and just talked the night away without blowing anything up (accomplishment!!!!), aced my exams, completed my work requirements despite being half awake and with sleep deprivation…and today, slept for 6 hours. Alrighty!

Am I ready for this week? Hopefully. You know I am turning twenty-fucking-seven. And it’s a bloody great number, divisible by 27, 1, 9 and 3. How cool is that?

Gambatte!

Fight-o! O!

Yosh!

(You could tell I have been watching too many….err…JP movies Teehee)

Glitch

 

Gah!!! I had everything down....that I have updated finally and I was ready to click on the post button...but no...the darn computer hated me...it was never posted and it was not saved and I have no idea what I wrote earlier and you know that feeling when you write (type per se) what you wanted to say and everyone to read but re-writing it would be pointless and no longer as honest as you wanted it to be?...*sigh* So yeah, why this inane comments...when I'm pretty sure I had something far more witty to say...*sigh*

Anyway, I know I haven't updated in ...like 2 years yeah? I have very lame excuses why I have been away and pretending to be a pseudo law-ehem-abiding citizen...so I won't bother with that drivel. I guess this is an effort to update....you know who you guys are...thanks for the reminder and the heads up...another coffee night would be great. I'll send an SMS by this week. =)

Ja ne!