A Beautiful Day

I thank you for the melody that wove through happier days. In remembrance of laughter shared, of bonds created that would stand the test of time.
For moments where I am both the product of the strength of a past and the million possibilities of a distant future.

Your voice remained a constant company through days of summer rains and stormy winds.
A reminder, constantly showing me that I am of a people that have risen.
That blood of heroes moves through my veins.

Your song forever frees me from the self-induced insecurity of our society. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. We can be more that who we are.

Proud of the land we sprung from.
Three stars and a sun.

Thank you.

**To the man whose song is always connected to a great childhood and a great family...whose words forever strengthens our resolve to be who we are.

"And in my dreams you were so real. Oh so it seems.
Inside my head a giant screen plays every scene
And in my dreams I feel you every time I go to sleep"

You will always be remembered.

Repost: Coffee and Cigarettes

K, reposting the journal entry where your heart started speaking again.




5 Months and counting...this is my journey in getting over you.
I still count, because it seems numbers have always given me comfort, it's accountability and its limitless possibilities has been a companion...and it seems a far more better one than you.
(Numbers, they tell me that it's not like they would refuse to exist just because I'm no longer wearing star glittered glasses)

I have finally taken the time to perform a hard reset on my phone's memory, to erase your messages that failed to give me comfort on the times I find myself doubting the sanity of loving you. As inane as it would seem, I purged myself of your words that used to ground me.
I refused to be grounded for now.

Daylight is pouring warmth behind me...funny Hell hasn't frozen over when I walked out from the prison of my self-induced rose-tinted world. Red doesn't do it for me (Thank you God).

Despite that going through your betrayal, your apathy and your insecurities would help me heal, I refused to talk about you, to think about you or to even remember you. At first I doubted my decision. If it would infest me more of you then find myself a hollow version of myself.

Today I find that you matter (not for long). Even if this sounds like I may be remembering you and hurting myself in the process, I find myself more inclined to feel now. To feel. ( I doubt you'd get it)

I wish you strength. Despite how much I hate you, I wish you strength to come out of your shell, barely a man, barely anything. Hiding under the shadows of your own doubts. Maybe I wish you strength because you couldn't own up to anything if you remain what you are now.
Your insecurities will not cover you from the truth of what you are.
Hollow.


Pain. It is coursing through my veins along with the blood of heroes and traitor, it runs through me. I want you to feel this. Pain boiling out. Consuming you. Not a random act of violence, but a precise infliction of every hurtful entity that would break down your apathy.
Shredding you to what you actually are, pathetic. Weak.



Yes. I am angry. Given the right circumstances I might run you over with my car. Kick a ball to your face, darn it, kick you. I want to feel. I am angry.
Anger is a gift. I am giving it to you.
Your betrayal is nothing to my anger, as I am making you Nothing to me.
Feel.

Broken

For a short while I was made to feel like the biggest joke.
And in those few seconds I felt the bitter taste of betrayal until it was chased away by the rushing course of my anger...  I carved up the bloody remnants of my sanity. Stitched them together as a poor semblance of everyone else's normality.

And now that it's patched up the best way I could, I am plotting down every detail of destroying you.

Up to the last step of laying you flayed out and broken under my scorching sun.

Publish Post

Morpheus Knocking

I think in a way...I have grown to be someone who has lost her mind. Adulthood is a trying stage and I don't think that nirvana people talk about is feasible....or that's my sleep-deprived mind talking. More like spouting nonsense...on a note, nonsense is a fatal fashion statement but seems to be thriving like a damn disease.

On another note...am I the type of person that could be bribed? I doubt it though...I find illogical things not worth mentioning and should one take up bribing as a professional calling...they need more work. They come off as lame and insulting.

I look twice at a pretty smile, take a second look at a vibrant color, turn my head at the sound of a deep gravely voice, stops to listen to lyrics sang by an untried screaming voice, stands still at a sight of a rusty star...

I am not patience molded in a tea cup. I am not the personification of love unbounded. I can't be the poster girl for whatever dream scape you are living in.and no I am not a damsel in distress nor am I broken.I do not need fixing.

Don't tempt me with the world. I had it in the palm of my hands when I was eleven and gave it up because it got boring watching the same shit over and over and over...

I need sleep.

Oyasumi!